Why Can’t I Change? An Intuitive Guide to Making the Changes You Want in Your Life

 

Do you know what changes you need to make, but you can’t seem to make them?

 

This thought of change and the cycle to overcome it, all came about at 3:00 AM when I couldn’t get back to sleep.

 

I’d been wondering how to get my mom, who suffers from terrible insomnia to cut back on her coffee. I began to think about how I make changes in my life.

 

I realized then that the lasting changes I’ve made in my life start with questions and a focus on my why.

 

Ask yourself these questions:

• What do you want to change?
• Why do you want to change it?
• What would this change look like for you?
• What are you afraid of?
• Why are you afraid of it?
• What are you afraid of if you don’t change?
• What might you gain with this change?
• How might this change help a current struggle you are having?

 

These questions focus me on my goal and get right to the root of what might be holding me back or might get in my way.

 

Next, imagine your life having made the change. Imagine it with detail.

• What would your life look like with this change implemented?
• How would it feel to have made this change?

 

The more specific the change the more likely you’ll have success in changing it. For example stop drinking coffee, instead of sleep better.

 

Make a Plan

Make a plan and keep the image of the change already made in your mind and the feeling having made the change would bring to you.

 

Keep your focus on what you have to gain and why you want to change, rather than mourning the loss of the change.

 

You can replace your current experience and develop a love for a new experience that better serves you.

 

Make a plan of action.

• How are you going to make the change?
• What is your plan?
• When are you going to start?

 

The process might look like this.

My goal was to stop drinking coffee.

 

What I need to do:

• I need to stop drinking coffee
• I need to stop because I’m having terrible midday crashes, insomnia and I have adrenal fatigue
• This would mean one of my favorite parts of my morning routine would be gone

 

My fears:

• I’m afraid of headaches, feeling tired, and not having the energy to show up in life.
• I’m afraid of these things because I don’t want to feel discomfort and change is hard
• If I don’t change I will continue down the same path I’m on that does not serve me and I may suffer more health problems
• I’m afraid of missing my morning ritual

 

What I look forward to:

• I can gain mental clarity, better sleep, a release from an addictive need with a cycle. It can open up healing opportunities to my body: my adrenals and nervous system
• Making this change can show me the power of facing my fears and habits in my life that no longer serve me and my higher purpose.

 

My plan:

• Instead I will drink Rasa, green tea, kombucha and dandelion tea.
• I will love mixing it with my homemade creamer as I did my coffee and I will feel better for it.
• When my coffee beans run out I won’t buy more. I will have all my alternatives on hand and look forward to a change that will better serve me.

 

Asking questions really helps you get to your “why”. Focusing on your “why” and what you will gain keeps you in a positive head space and keeps you on track to your goal. Look at change as a positive addition to better your life, instead of a negative depriving you of something you want in your life. Sometimes making changes is easier when you change the frame at which you look at it.

 

Do you struggle with making changes in your life? How do you make changes in your life? What tips and tricks have you found that work for long lasting results? I’d love to know.